Sunday, March 14, 2010

finding new jeans

I've been thinking about growing pains (the actual process, not the show) About how it just kind of hurts to change and grow; and how sometimes the ideas you've worn for years just don't seem to fit anymore and not only that, they're more worn out than your favorite pair of jeans (you know, the ones that have holes in all the wrong places, but you just can't toss). And where do you go to find new ones that fit anyway? The new ones are all too low and they make you look like you have a serious case of mom butt.

I can't contemplate anymore tonight. I'm going to watch lost on hulu and pretend that my jeans fit just fine.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

slow down

As I was preparing lunch today Snugs started crying. I quickly remembered that I hadn't changed his diaper in a little while and started to have a mini mental meltdown. I sat my sauce-covered spoon on the counter, grabbed him out of the exersaucer, and frantically looked for a clean diaper cover. He was laying on the floor looking up at me and crying as I pulled at the snaps on his sleeper. Then I saw his face. I took a deep breath and realized that no one was going to be upset if lunch was five minutes later. No one even cared! Mr. Reliable had taken Boots to the store to pick up something he needed, but my little one needed me. I smiled at him and spoke to him quietly. He stopped crying.

I had completely missed his need. Yes, his diaper was wet and he wanted a dry one, but he NEEDED to know that I love him, that I think he is wonderful, and that a late lunch and messy kitchen are not more important to me that him. I don't know why the tasks get so overwhelming that I forget why or for whom I am doing them.